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  • Paul Garland

Why Being A Cuck Means Different Things To Different People


he word cuck is a derogatory term to most. It’s an insult. Not quite a curse word, but something you’d say to someone you’re trying to deride.

But to me, it’s simply a label; a fact; a way of describing a person with a certain sexual fetish — the enjoying of their wife (or partner) having sex with other men. What’s wrong with that? If it’s what a couple enjoys; if all the adults involved are consenting and everything is done in a safe and proper manner, then what’s the problem? Of course, to some — possibly most — people, their partner having sex with someone else is cheating, a betrayal, even if they gave their consent to it. It’s bruising to the common man’s male ego for their wife to want someone else. It’s humiliating at its worst when she goes through it; when the other man takes what’s theirs; when he penetrates the vagina that was sworn to be his possession forever and always; when he plants his seed inside her, violating and desecrating the husband’s property.

If the term cuckold is hurled at you as an affront; as an attempt to shame you or hurt your pride, it only works if you’re actually upset about it in the first place. And these days, in this modern world that we inhabit, more and more men aren’t ashamed about their wife’s infidelity. In fact, the trend is towards quite the opposite, an increasing number of husbands embracing and enjoying it.

However, those men aren’t all the same. Cuckold and cuckoldress seem fairly definitive terms, but they’re actually more of an umbrella label. Take me, for instance: my wife has two regular FWBs (friends with benefits) who she meets semi-regularly for sex. It excites me when she does because I love that my wife is liberated enough to get what needs and craves. She’s brave enough to break the rules of normalised society and defy the enforced stereotype that married women should behave within themselves and suppress any urges they might get for anyone outside of their marriage. She’s adventurous enough to seek out excitement and confident enough to get it. I like that about her. I’m not submissive to her. She doesn’t humiliate me. I know her FWBs and actually get on fairly well with them. Our situation works. It makes us all happy, we all get our kicks out of it, so what’s wrong with it? Why should cuckold be such a galling thing to be called? Why should my wife be classed by some as a slut when she’s actually just going out there and (let’s be honest) doing what a lot of married men do behind their wives’ backs?

I am a cuckold. My wife cuckolds me. She sometimes teases me about how good her lovers are, playing with my emotions a little; saying they’re able to make her cum in new and inventive ways that I can’t. But it’s all playful. There’s no malice in it or any attempt to make me feel bad. I’m a willing subject for those types of comments. Some might call us more of a stag and vixen type couple but we’re not quite that either because I do get off on the fact that her lovers are able to satisfy her in ways beyond my capabilities and that she enjoys that aspect of it too. There are, of course, cuckolds that absolutely enjoy being humiliated. They enjoy being caged, frustrated, denied their own release. They become aroused at their penises being degraded and belittled or their sexual prowess being questioned and their ability to satisfy a woman put into doubt. And that’s fine. If all parties are having fun, it’s cool.

There are cuckolds who participate — quasi-bisexuals who fluff the bull, masturbating or fellating him before or during the sex and others who enjoy the ignominy of being made to clean up; licking up the bull’s sperm after he’s finished inside or on the cuckoldress wife. Some cuckold husbands might simply sit and watch the action, his wife featuring as the pornstar in their very own, personalised, live-action, porn movie. Other cucks might hover outside the bedroom, hoping for a sneaky look through the crack in the door. Some may listen, their ear pressed to the wall between the room where the action is and the room that they’ve been banished to, or are hiding in. Some might wait in the car outside the hotel room that they’ve paid for — just for their wife to take her lover to. The act of being made to pay for his wife’s pleasure and her bull’s is just another way for her to cuckold him. Perhaps she also made him pay for the special lingerie that only her bull got the enjoyment from seeing and stripping her from. Some like their wives enjoying men of a different race to their own, or of them doing sexual acts which they wouldn’t consider with their husband.

I’m a mix of a few of these stereotypes, plus I’m one of the types of cuckold that isn’t only restricted to being the fall guy. I’ve also been a bull in the past. I discovered my interest in BDSM at a fairly young age, being curious about spanking and domination and during my formative late teen and early twenty-something years, I experimented with my own fuck buddies and explored that side of myself fully. I was always the top, the master, the dom, and I still enjoy those alpha aspects of my personality expressing themselves in my sexuality — which seems contradictory to my enjoyment of my wife fucking men outside of our marriage. That seems submissive and beta but in my case, it’s not. I still have control. If I spoke to her, told her that I no longer enjoyed it and that I wanted to stop, she would. We have that agreement. We love each other and respect each other and that’s the key. Respect. The best cuckolding relationships work because they respect each other, despite their otherwise-seeming actions. The term cuckold implies a lack of respect, that the wife no longer has respect for her husband and that’s why it’s used as an insult. Often, the truth of the matter is that there exists a greater bond, a larger-than-usual amount of respect and a special bond of trust, in most cuckolding relationships, than there is in a conventional marriage.

The word cuckold isn’t a bad word. We’re not all the same. I’ve been both a bull and a cuckold. My wife has even let me play with a female friend of hers — only once, it was a one-off, she made that clear — so I’m a clear example of how many cuckolds simply aren’t what popular opinion makes us out to be. We’re liberated. We’re daring. We embrace our inner conflict. We’re not ashamed of our fetish, of our kinky nature, of our love for our wives having sex with other men.

We’re cuckolds. We’re all different. And we’re proud of it.

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